i feel so cut off from everybody now.
no one is really trusting what i said..
hey, what am i doing? turning my back on everyone..even my best friend..

everyone wanted the best for me..i know that and i thank everyone for that, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.

and i'm sorry also, for all those i've disappointed..really really sorry, sincerely, humbly..nevermind, no matter what i say, it's only gonna make things worst..i've disappointed someone i shouldn't have, i've hung my phone on someone i shouldn't have, i've said the wrong things to someone which i should not have said, i've done all the wrong things at once! and don't tell me that god is behind all these because he's not, no matter how many times i scold him, or her, or they or whatsoever, it isn't because of him that i am what i am today. it's only my own mistake, my own fault.

blame myself for not being able to take tuitions. blame myself for not being able to revise, blame myself for excelling in other stuffs rather than schoolwork, blame myself for having the wrong interest, hey, whatever, JUST BLAME MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING!

it's just that i can't stand it anymore..and i still feels that no one understands me well enough..whatever..this is the reason why i'm such a disappointment, BECAUSE IT'S MEANT TO BE..

i've had enough. i feel like going my own way, but i can't. what about all my friends..

and to my parents, i'll remember your threaten for life. i will not forgive you, even if i die. NEVER. you will see, ONE DAY you will see, it's not that i think that what i say is always right, just that YOU 2 ARE WRONG.

i know my own limits, abilities, etc..and if you people want, can stop bothering about me if it's too troubling..I AM NOT WORTHY TO BE A BOTHER. i'm not worthy of anything..