but anyway, i've decided, to do my best since i'm going to sec 5..but it's not because of my parents..i still hate them..i don't know what to say already..i'm seriously looking forward to Os, so that it can end quickly, don't tell me it will be very fast..it will only be fast if you look back..

oh well, extra lessons for maths..i know everyone is going to be very shocked at me..whatever..i still hate maths, but i need maths to go poly, no wait, THEY want us to PASS maths to go poly..

i feel sleepy, but i cannot sleep already, so i might as well just waste my one and a half hour trying to post whatever i wanna say..

***PLEASE DON'T READ***

i really don't know what to start on..i just hope that school faster starts and i can get it over and done with. everyone's asking me to do the same thing, go up to sec 5..now is everyone happy? i'm up to sec 5..somehow i still feel that 09 is a very bad year. my feeling's rarely wrong..this is serious..i don't know, maybe the bad thing is about to happen soon?..
anyway an advice for all..if you've already done something wrong, there's no point crying over spilt milk, rather, we must all try to think how to salvage it. i can say things aren't really going well for me right now. i'm on the verge of losing a friend, on the verge of losing my mind, on the verge of losing my freedom. i'm on the verge of a cliff..i don't want anyone to think i'm trying to earn your sympathy, because i'm not. seriously..but hey, no matter how near am i to losing everything, life still goes on normally. we still have to live our lives, and not get stuck there!
regarding all my previous posts..i hope it doesn't offend anybody..i just feel so alone now. seriously. somehow or rather everything's changing, for the worse..it really took me by surprise this time, it came a little bit too early. i won't enjoy christmas if things don't get better for me, i don't get to enjoy new year either. i won't have to mood to. i really don't want our friendship to end, no matter what i've said, but i guess it's all useless now..but whatever it is, 09 is still gonna be a bad year for me. especially when i'm the commander (yes, again) for the footdrill competition squad, that's, one whole chunk of responsibility. if i screw up on the competition day, i'll be held responsible should we not win. and i gotta start to learn my maths, and i really hope the training isn't as much when school reopens. my music theory lesson's gonna start too, and it's a direct jump to grade 5..i'm gonna take grade seven in like, i don't know, a few months time? it's near the start of the year. my grade 8's supposedly taken in nov 09..so is it a bad year or not? to top it off, there's my O levels..my theory exam's supposedly in oct 09..i really wanna say sorry to everyone, and i know the best way is to prove through action. and i know you're trying your best to help..it's just that, i feel that i can do it..let me try?..i know that after all i've said, you'll still be disappointed..sigh..it's officially screwed, my life..my nightmare is about to come true..
this post is now 15 minutes long..i took 15 minutes to type all these..