i swear on my life it ain't gonna happen again..

how's life?..

and so this is how it dies..

i fail..

it's not a nightmare..
it's real..

it could all just stop here..

i wish i could just wake up the next day to find out that all these is just a nightmare..

the past few days feels like a few milleniums..

getting worse by the day..
less than a few sentences..
moodless..
sigh..
dead..

i seem to keep seeing these things somehow..

Day by day, he stood by her.
Silently but surely, as each day pass.

Day by day, he looked upon her.
As though he'd seen an angel.

Day by day, he felt so blessed,
as her smile devours his heart.

Day by day he felt so helpless,
as her tears pierced through his heart.

Day by day, night by night,
he feel so helpless as days go by.
Star light, star bright,
first star he see tonight.
He never saw it, not this time,
drowned in the darkness of the night.
He wished he may, he wished he might,
find the cloud with a silver line.

back to square one..

what the hell is happening again..

found this soemwhere on the net..



Born into this world,
without a single thing to my name.
i've grown so much since then.

I knew this would happen,
but i still chose to do it,
to let it come this far.

I don't regret my actions,
i won't take back my words,
i just want to love you with all my heart.

'can we just be friends?' she said.
breaking my world apart.

The inevitable happened,
though i've been through much,
this was different.

Right beneath the stars,
the celestial bodies look upon,
my weeping broken heart.

Left in the darkness,
thrown into the abyss,
isolated at the very bottom.

Now i'll thank you,
for what you've taught,
i know now what true love is.

i will say,
i'll still love you,
as much as i always do.

And i'll always will.

i love you.

never thought i'll say this but,

i can't control my tears..

TOTALLY SCREWED..

i'm sorry for not going to training today..i just don't feel like..sorry..
sorry people if i'm moody these few days, i can't help it..
and you..sorry..




EVERYTHING just has to happen all at once..my computer is almost dead, i can't catch up with chem, i can't catch up with maths, i can't this and i can't that, and worse..that..

life has never been fair..that i know..

ARGH i am in a state i would like to call, I-FEEL-SO-MUCH-FURTHER-AWAY-FROM-DEATH-BECAUSE-I-HAVE-SURPASSED-IT-TOO-MUCH.....

FUCK..

For what is a man, what has he got,
if not himself, then he has not.
To say the words he truly feels,
and not the words he would reveal.
The record shows I took the blows,
and did it my way..

Frank Sinatra / Elvis Presley - My Way

she says we gotta, hold on, to what we got.
it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not..

i knew it, but still, i'll do it.
i wished i wasn't right this time..

thanks, really really thanks alot..for making me understand..

worried..thinking too much, or perhaps not..

i feel so screwed up right now..what is happening?!?!..

i'm just that useless aren't i..

i'm really scared..gosh i cannot imagine..i don't want to..

but perhaps that's how it should be like, i just feel so fucking useless right now.

i'm just..so..useless..

very worried..

i just can't stop thinking..
i think i'm not good enough for you..
sigh..