This is gonna be the last blog post of this blog till things are resolved within myself.

I guess i won't be saying anything else. What i wanna say is, i love you and and i always will. That's it. I really don't know what i can do anymore.

Tell me if i'm a jerk, tell me if i'm unworthy of anything at all. I won't know if you don't tell me, and i wanna know what you think of me. I wanna know how i am through your eyes. I wanna know if i'm just another acquintance. I wanna know everything about myself through you. Please, i beg you, tell me. Just tell me. I don't care how.

Until then, this is goodbye..

I think, that in your eyes, i am one and the same with others.

Ah whatever. I don't wanna type anymore. It's the same few things over and over and over and over and over.....this is gonna be the last post about all these. I don't wanna leave a bad impression that i'm overreacting and being dramatic and seeking attention. Not that i care how others think, but i do care about how you think of me..

This is all so pointless.

When i talk, i feel soooo parasitic. I don't know what to do.



And also, one day when you finally come to know my feelings for you, what would change?

All that i've done in the past would be because i love you.
All that i'm doing now is because i love you.
And all that i'm gonna do is because i love you.

Maybe it's true, but it's not really all of the things. Being friends come before being lovers right? I don't wanna argue, it makes no sense.

All that you know and all that you don't. Is it really worth changing everything just for one selfish question which would never ever have a positive answer? I really don't know, i really wanna know..


It's weird for me to talk about all these but like i said, i really need some place to vent everything out.

I don't wanna be called a dramatic person, but it's really how i'm feeling right now. I can't use any other way to say it, i don't care if you call me a dramatic person, not all of the people i know will see this anyway, but i really don't care.

Life isn't fair anyways. The one who don't needs it will get it. That's the way things work. So damn unfair..

It's hard for your world to not revolve around love when you're in love, no matter how hard you try to push it away it keeps coming back...

Ok maybe the previous post is weird.

Anyway i'm feeling pretty drowsy now, who knows what kinda weird stuff i'll type out in this daze, but i don't really care already..

But yeah, i'm giving myself 2 months time to prepare myself metally for what that is to come. I know that this preparation is gonna be useless, and all that has taken so long to stabalize will once again collapse. I really wonder if this is really worth it.

It's pretty rare that i'm touching on this. I just, finally need an outlet where i can ease myself of all that i've been holding back for quite awhile. I really don't know what to do. I just wanna shout everything out but i can't.

But nevertheless, i'm determined to hold on even if it means that my soul will burn and that i will feel the pain. Been doing it for awhile, i don't think it'll matter if i hang on for the rest of my life. I just hope things don't change after everything..

Don't mind the post, please forget everything..

You said it doesn't make a difference.

You know, it's really different. LOL. I can't really put it into words but it just feels so different. I'm sorry i can't really say anything else but it's really really different. Kinda empty i guess.

But anyways i don't know how many times i've said it but i'm gonna say it again. Stay safe! I'll be saving my 11:11 for that.

Now to survive 5 weeks of feeling emptiness..haha :)

Yo..

It's been long since i updated.

Yeah.

So, life has just been guitar and anime! Boring but it's sort of fulfilling i guess..i'm currently watching Magic Knight Rayearth! It was one of my favorite animes when i was young, and this is the only anime that made me feel nostalgic. The 2nd ending theme is NICE, seriously. Go listen to it! It's called Yasashiku Dakasete. I can repeat this song till kingdom come.

Oh yeah, one of the biggest acheivement in my life happened 2 days ago. I figured out the entire song (Yasashiku Dakasete) by ear. This is NOT the 1st time i'm trying to figure out a song by ear. This IS the 1st time i actually had the patience to finish everything. I'm a perfectionist at these kinda stuff, my previous 'projects' failed cause i couldn't really hear some parts, and i just abandoned everything. So yeah, acheivement unlocked (Y)

lalala.

Hm, the band's kinda going well i guess. We started writing originals! Since...just now. LOL. Only the intro is done, but well, i'm sure it'll be finished in a few weeks time :)

Epic abrupt end.